My office

Well, the A/C in my office is not functioning properly and it's over 80 in there, so I am outside today on the benches outside my office. Thanks goodness I put a wireless access point in my office.

So, I'm out in the sun and it's not too hot out here.

Of course, I suppose anything would be better than sweating to death in the box of doom.

Just another manic Tuesday

Well, it was a three day weekend. Gave me time to clean some stuff out of the apartment, check out some job sites and spend some time with good people.

I need to buy an A/C unit for the upstairs of Ward. It's getting hot and that doesn't agree well with me.

Dan is still away on his trip. Unless his wife decides otherwise, he's gone mid July still.

Chef Boyardee

Ok, so I'm eating some ABC's and 123's. And everything is fine except for the last couple of letters and numbers. They are a pain in the ass to get on a spoon. WHY?!? I just want to simply enjoy my canned pasta lunch without strife. Come on Chef! Do something about it.

So, it's Saturday

So, it's Saturday and I'm helping people move again. Why, because that's what I do.

I'm not happy but pretending to be for the sake of everyone else. Hurray for Theater 101. But no, really, I'm not happy.

I'm sure after busting my ass and moving stuff, I'll spend another lovely evening home with my cable box, obsessing over the direction the shirts are hanging in my closet or some other retarded thing one does alone.


Can you hear my prayer?
Or do they just float to some lofty upstairs,
where no one really cares?
Can you hear my cries?
Or do you just sit back and wonder,
why is this guy calling my name again?

Friday has come

Well, it's Friday. I took today off from work. Kanako needed help moving, so I helped her most of the afternoon. There are too many stairs to the 3rd floor of Bohm.

I'm still not ok. I might need therapy or something. Maybe drink for a while. Hell, I don't know.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do.

Here's to another subpar weekend with more depression than usual.

Messed up month

Well, Dawn broke up with JD and the wedding was called off. I was really looking forward to it, but I suppose too much damage is in play right now for that to change anytime soon.

Oh yeah, not happy and all that jazz.

In NY again

So, this weekend had been completly messed up. It sucks all around. I'm sleep deprived, depressed, angry and several other things also.
For 2 months, the plan was that this was going to be a great weekend.


So, I've had plenty of time to think by myself given all the driving. I'm suprised I didn't die. I zoned out a couple of times, came too and didn't know where I was. It's like I stepped out of reality and then poof, back in and oh yeah, I'm behind the wheel of a car.

Back to the thinking, I'm not happy with my life. I feel old. I've always acted young or older depending on what ever the given situation was, but now I just feel older. I feel as if the things I were supposed to accomplish are just not done and perhaps it's too late. I've blown my chance. Perhaps all the breaks I was going to get are gone and my life is lonely and mundane now. I don't want work to be the only thing I have in my life. Even if I quit my job, (which is a serious consideration), it just means I have to get another and it will be my life because I have nothing else in my life. (And no Dan, I don't need a flipping cat.)

I'm pissed off because stories and history about my family that I should have been privy to are all going to be relayed to me second hand, third party. And then no one can tell me what Mike thought of me. I feel like a person who's past had been vacuum sealed in a box, and buried in the ground for all eternity. I suppose the answers I made up for years will have to do. The explanation I sort of came up with in my head about why this, and how that, will have to do.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm tired of being emotionally alone. I don't want to be 40 and still single, halfway through my life with half accomplished goals and sadness.

Here's what's going on

This is going to be the weekend from hell.

The Switch show will go on Saturday night. After that I'm driving to WV for the funeral Sunday. This will probably be my last blog entry until Monday.

I'm not doing well. I'm not happy. In fact I wish I were someplace else living a different life right now.


It's been something of a couple of days.

I got a call from a half brother I haven't seen since...1997 or so, that my dad, Mike Holbert, had passed away. He was 50.

In the midst of that is the usual graduation preperations and Switch was supposed to have a show Saturday night, which we've been practicing for for many weeks.

I'm torn because I've met him like 7 or 8 times in my life, talked to him once in an exceptionally great while on line and now, how am I supposed to feel? I don't remember him growing up, or being at my High School graduation, or when I got in my first car accident or well, anything. I got some "I hope your doing fine kiddo"s from him.

More or less I suppose right now I'm angry. We'll see where the next 24 hours goes.

I already want to go home

It's just after lunch and I already want to go home.

Lunch picked up from Pizza Pizza in Mt. Vernon. Better than the dried substance they were trying to pass off as lasagna in the commons.

Elmer officially flipped after the loaner laptops IT has decided to no longer produce a video signal through the external VGA port. Don't mess with Elmer.

*SIGH* What to do tonight. I hate planning dinner, cooking dinner, cleaning after dinner. Maybe something else, who knows.

Just another boring Monday night

Watched TV. Ate. Slept after taking some allergy meds. Yes, I live an exciting life.

I upgraded my Optimum Online to Optimum Boost. Hurray for ridiculous amounts of bandwith.

Sunday and Monday morning

Went to the Inn at about 12:30am with Kanako. It was good to go out for a little while.

Well after church I went home, cleaned and did laundry. How very domestic.

Went to Pizza mia with Kanako for dinner then Carvel and Dunkin Donuts. Speaking of Dunkin Donuts, they've really gotten away from their core product. Donuts. Everyone wants coffee. I hate coffee. When ever I end up at a Starbucks or DnD, I'm the only one ordering tea.

Oh well.

Work is ok today. It seemed like everyone between home and campus was getting their lawn mowed. That makes allergies tre awful.

Oh well, it's Monday, and that means Sci-Fi is showing Stargate all evening. Yay for cable.

Boring Saturday

I woke up, took some allergy meds around 10am and when they kicked in I fell asleep. Woke up around 4:30pm. Made some dinner, watched some TV. Lets hear it for another exciting Saturday.


Last night I ate dinner in the commons. Since then my stomach has been in twisting around like a small animal writhing in pain just before it dies. I'm not eating food from there for a while now. Why you ask? Because I don't like my insides feeling like they're being ground up.

Heather is confused.

I don't know why, but she just said that. But she's confused. She misses her friends and doesn't want to type her papers.

I'm finding all this out, and you should know too. I'm also getting a listing of all the girls she's made out with. Nice.

Kanako is asleep on the floor. Every 15 to 20 minutes she makes some sort of noise. Once she giggled and smiled ear to ear then rolled over. Must be a good dream. Better that then the paper she should be typing.

FYI, the taco dinner from the commons is wrecking havoc on my stomach.

Back to papers and stuff and listening to Kanako make some mumbling sound.

Oh yeah, and there are pictures of what I'm talking about right now in the photo section. Check it out.

Holy long sweaty band practice, Batman.

So, band practice went on and on and on until the will to continue to play just sort of fizzled.

I'm sweaty, funky, and tired. The shower is warming up and I'm about to get nice and clean. Then it's off to help with religon papers. Perhaps some sleep there after???

Welcome to Thursday

Staff meeting! Staff Meeting! God how I love the staff meetings...(not.) Holy poop on a stick, I hope this meeting is short.

Langs Deli was good as always. I wish the commons could be like that.

So, last night I had the most messed up dream. I got shot by some redneck cops, but didn't die. Then I got shot by some gangs with machine guns, and didn't die. I was more hard core then the Terminator. I had something I had to do, I don't remember what, and I just wouldn't die. Very strange.

It's Wednesday

Welcome to the mid-week hump day. Let's recap. Allergies are bad, band practice until late = tired Woody.

Lunch again in the commons was subpar. The cake was stale, the meat dry and hard.

This afternoon is more user creation tool work. I hate this project because I know someone is going to want to change something and that's going to piss me off. Royally.

I need to finish a new song tonight. I've got a tonne of half baked ideas and nothing done. So, I'm going to just get it done.

Super tired now

Work work work, then Pizza Mia's with Heather and Sarah. Back to campus in time to meet Katie to get my keyboard for band practice. Off to the Inn to meet Joe for chicken wings. Then back to campus to set up, and have band practice until 11:30pm. Now I'm home for the first time since I left to goto work. Get thee to bed I say!

Feeling super crappy

Woke up this morning, felt like poop. Feel worse now. (10:00am) I've taken Benadryl, DayQuil and Motrin. The sneezing is off the chart.

Band practice is tonight. I've also got to get some of the music for JD and Dawns wedding recorded. I'm still not sure about Ode To Joy, Dawn. But we'll see.


Holy swollen eye Batman!

Allergies blow. Something other than the standard somehow got in my right eye and it swelled up. I took Benedryl and now I feel bleh. I might just say screw today and go home and put an ice pack on it.

Lunch sucked in the commons. I wish who ever was planning the meals would get a clue. Seriously.

I failed to comment on some of the movies I bought from BestBuy. I got 2001 and the 1984 sequel, 2010. 2001 is still a long and complicated watch. 2010 just sucks. Aeon Flux was ok, the ending was a little lame. (Like most movies...SIGNS is a huge example of that.) I also picked up the Star Trek "Time Travel" episode collection. Those seem to make some of the best shows to watch. I also got "Dark Fury" the in between of the "Chronicles of Riddick" series. I haven't viewed it yet so more on that to come.

YES! Tonight is Monday and that means Stargate SG-1 on Sci-Fi from 6pm to 11pm. If you're going to be a loser, you should be a well entertained loser!